21-15-9 reps, for time:
Clean (135 lbs)
Standard Gym Protocol
Ski season is coming and what better way to get in shape than by taking some tips from the pros!
Check out this article originally published in Powder Magazine in 2007. Ok, maybe we don’t want you to workout like this, but it certainly is good for a few laughs on a Tuesday morning! Thanks Khem for sending it out way!
STANDARD GYM PROTOCOL
1. Waxing or trimming chest/back hair not manadatory but strongly encouraged.
2. Perform 300 push-ups prior to entering gym to “pump” upper body.
3. Apply oil every fourth workout (photo days). Use Crisco only when necessary (avoid tanning bed or heat sources).
4. When referring to muscle groups, precede with “the” and abbreviate all musculature (i.e. the lats, the pecs, the quads, the glutes). Make them their own entity.
5. Interject “the core” and “plyos” into conversation whenever possible.
6. When speaking to a member of the opposite sex and the abs are exposed, drop shoulders back to put torso at an angle, causing flexion and accentuation of the abs (also works for the breasts in females). Maintain position through rest of workout when in view.
7. Make sure someone is looking before performing your heaviest, most impressive set.
8. Avoid water during workout, as it causes bloating and reduced definition.
9. Do not stretch prior to workout. Loose muscles will make you wobbly.
10. Grunt often and loudly.